Voice Control
Voice Control: The Hidden Power in How You Speak
By Rich Waterman
Many years ago, I took a course on public speaking. Now, I’ve always been pretty comfortable on stage, and over the years I’ve trained plenty of people to communicate with more confidence and clarity.
But here’s the thing: learning is never finished. The moment you think you’ve mastered something is the moment you start to slip. That’s why I still take time to revisit the fundamentals—and one of the most powerful tools I’ve come across is voice control, especially how you end a sentence.
The Pitch at the End Matters More Than You Think
Whether you're speaking to an audience or just having a chat with a friend, your vocal pitch at the end of a sentence changes the entire meaning of what you're saying. Here’s how:
1. Rising Pitch = A Question
When we ask a question, we naturally raise our pitch at the end.
Often, we even lift our eyebrows.
This isn’t just body language—it’s a social cue.
If you're unsure when it’s your turn to speak, listen for the rising pitch and watch for raised eyebrows. That’s your cue.
2. Flat Pitch = A Statement
If the pitch stays flat at the end of a sentence, it signals a statement.
Now here’s a cheeky little trap: sometimes people ask a question but use a flat tone—what I call a false question.
So if your partner asks something that sounds like a question but their tone is flat? Proceed with caution… You've been warned.
3. Falling Pitch = A Command
Lowering your pitch at the end of a sentence adds authority and certainty.
Eyebrows often lower too—subtly reinforcing the command.
This is powerful when introducing yourself, especially in high-stakes settings like interviews, speeches, or networking.
Compare these two versions:
❌ “Hi, I’m Rich? I live near London? I’m a coach and help people transform their lives?”
✅ “Hi, I’m Rich. I live near London. I’m a coach and help people transform their lives.”
Which one sounds more credible and confident?
My Favourite Sneaky Trick
Here’s where it gets fun. You can take a question and make it a command simply by dropping your pitch.
For example:
Rising pitch: “Would you like to do this now?” → Sounds optional.
Falling pitch: “Would you like to do this now.” → Sounds like it’s happening.
It’s subtle. But in a negotiation—or when talking to your kids—it makes a big difference. (Though I suspect mine will stop falling for this now that they’ve read it…)
Final Thought
Voice control is one of the most underrated tools for influence—whether you’re on stage, in a meeting, or negotiating bedtime with a five-year-old.
Start paying attention to your pitch.
It’s a small tweak that can make a huge difference.
Thanks for reading.
Being Extraordinary with Rich Waterman
The Tale Of Two Paths
Which path is right for you?
The Tale of Two Paths: Which Will You Choose?
By Rich Waterman
I was speaking with a potential coaching client recently about the crossroads they were facing.
They were weighing up their options and like many of us do at key moments, they found themselves standing before two very different paths.
Path One: The Solo Journey
This is the path where you go it alone.
You trust yourself.
You make your own decisions.
You learn through experience—sometimes the hard way.
It can be rewarding, even necessary at times.
But it’s often slower. It can be lonely. And it doesn’t always lead where you expect.
Still, there are moments when this path is right—when listening to your own voice, following your own rhythm, and forging your own way forward is exactly what you need.
Path Two: The Guided Route
This is the path you take with a coach or mentor walking beside you.
It involves investment—of time, energy, and often money.
Naturally, questions come up:
Will I get the result I want?
Is it worth it?
Do I even want what I say I want?
Is this the right time?
Here’s what I’ve noticed: when I’ve chosen this second path, it’s been smoother, faster, and clearer. There are fewer blind corners. I’m supported. I have company.
But even this path doesn’t last forever. Eventually, like all journeys, it leads to another fork in the road—and a new decision.
So Which Path Is Right for You?
That’s the million-pound question.
And there isn’t one right answer.
The solo path often leads to the same results you’ve been getting—at least in the short term. The guided path leads to something different—but only if that difference truly matters to you.
So ask yourself:
How big is the gap between where I am and where I want to be?
What is that gap worth?
Who is the right person to walk with me?
Do I trust them—and do I trust myself enough to commit?
The Real Trap? Standing Still.
There’s no perfect moment to begin.
There’s no guarantee.
But I do believe this: the worst path is indecision.
If you don’t choose your path, it chooses you.
You wander. You drift. You live in what I call the land of maybe.
And I don’t believe you or I belong there.
Make a Powerful Choice
There’s courage in picking a path.
There’s strength in committing and there’s something extraordinary about owning your next step, wherever it leads.
So: which path will you take?
Thanks for reading.
Being Extraordinary with Rich Waterman
Comfort Zone or Comfort Spectrum?
Photo by Jukan Tateisi on Unsplash
Comfort Zone or Comfort Spectrum?
By Rich Waterman
It’s a basic human need to feel safe.
Security, stability, solid foundations—we need these to function well.
This place of familiarity is often called our comfort zone. But I see it differently.
I see it as a comfort spectrum.
Your Comfort Isn’t Fixed. It’s Fluid.
There’s rarely a clear line marking the edge of your comfort zone.
It’s more like a sliding scale.
The further you move along the spectrum, the more uncertainty you feel.
Everyone's spectrum is different. But here’s what’s universal:
If you live too long in the safe centre, the spectrum shrinks.
Too Much Comfort Has a Cost
We don’t just crave certainty.
We also need variety—change, challenge, movement.
If we ignore that need, we risk:
Boredom
Lethargy
Low motivation
Even depression
Sound familiar?
And here’s the kicker: The longer you stay deep inside your comfort zone, the smaller it becomes.
Your world shrinks. Your energy drops. Your spark fades.
The Quality of Life Equation
I believe this:
“The quality of your life is directly proportional to the amount of variety you can comfortably handle.”
Everything you truly want in life—growth, excitement, fulfilment—lives just beyond your current zone.
But here's the good news:
When you lean into that edge, your zone grows and once you get a taste of that growth, it becomes addictive—in the best possible way.
So How Do You Step Beyond the Edge?
You need leverage.
Associate with the pleasure of what’s waiting for you outside the zone.
Acknowledge the pain of staying where you are.
Use your body, language, and focus like a confident person would. It's a recipe you can copy or model.
Don’t wait until you feel ready. Practise confidence.
Feel the discomfort. Walk with it anyway.
Shine Your Light
When you stretch your comfort spectrum, you don’t just grow—you inspire.
Your courage becomes a mirror for others.
Marianne Williamson captured this beautifully:
“There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you…
As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Final Thought
So, ask yourself:
What small action will I take today to stretch my comfort spectrum?
Even the smallest shift can spark a transformation.
Choose your edge. Then grow it.
Thanks for reading.
Being Extraordinary with Rich Waterman
Blame
Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash
Blame: The Pain That Solves Nothing
By Rich Waterman – Being Extraordinary
Blame is one of the most destructive behaviours we can fall into.
It doesn’t solve anything. It doesn’t change anything.
It just moves pain around—and creates ripple effects that hurt more than help.
And in today’s world, social media can be a turbocharged amplifier for blame.
Be mindful of who and what you allow into your feed.
Why We Blame
Something goes wrong. Something doesn’t meet our expectations.
Blame is often our first response—it’s normal, in the short term.
We might:
Blame ourselves
Blame others
Or even blame inanimate objects (yes, we’ve all sworn at the printer)
Initially, blame gives us distance from the pain.
But staying in blame keeps us stuck.
The Problem with Blame
It doesn’t resolve the situation—it just passes the pain:
Blame yourself? You suffer.
Blame someone else? They suffer… if they accept it. If not, you suffer more.
Blame a thing? It can’t respond—so guess what? You still carry the pain.
Worse still, blame is a sneaky way of abdicating responsibility.
You hand your power over.
You give up control.
How does it really feel to not be in charge of your own life?
A Better Alternative: Take Ownership
Forget blame. You’ve got two choices:
1. Change what’s happening.
2. Change what it means.
Change the Circumstances
Ask:
What needs to change here?
Why does this need to change?
What’s the first step I can take?
Break it down. Take action.
Remember Einstein’s definition of insanity:
“Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Stop repeating. Start shifting.
Change the Meaning
If the situation can’t change, change your interpretation of it.
Ask:
What rule am I holding onto that’s creating pain?
Can I rewrite that rule?
What’s the gift or lesson here?
Will this matter in six months?
Meaning is always within your control.
Change your perspective and you reclaim your power.
Final Word
Blame feels justified.
But it won’t get you where you want to go.
So when would now be a good time to stop playing the blame game?
Thanks for reading.
Being Extraordinary with Rich Waterman
Communication
Communication: Are We Really Connecting?
By Rich Waterman
We live in an age where communication is easier than ever.
Back when I was a student (showing my age here), if someone wasn’t in their room, you left a note on their door. If you wanted to call home, you queued for the phone box outside the bar.
Fast forward to now—we have WhatsApp, Zoom, FaceTime, emails, texts, voice notes... Yet in many ways, I think our actual ability to communicate is worse than ever.
Messages get misread. Emojis stand in for real emotion. Face-to-face conversations are often replaced by hurried digital exchanges. We’re more connected, but less understood.
Here’s What I’ve Learned About Communication
These principles have stood the test of time—personally, professionally, and in coaching others:
1. The quality of your communication is measured by how it’s received—not how you intended it.
You might think you were clear, kind, or respectful. But if the other person didn't feel that way, the message missed.
2. Always check for understanding.
Don't assume they got it— Ask. Confirm. Clarify.
3. Make your message easy to receive.
Be clear. Be concise. Don’t make people decode your intent or emotion.
4. Tailor your communication to the other person.
Some people need detail. Others prefer headlines. Some need time. Others want speed.
How do they best receive information?
5. Check your emotional state before you hit send.
Angry? Tired? Frustrated? Step away from the keyboard. A moment of pause can save hours of repair.
6. Check their state too.
Even a well-crafted message will land badly if the receiver is stressed, distracted, or upset.
7. Be a world-class listener.
Listen fully. Be present. Reflect back what you heard.
Listening isn’t waiting for your turn to talk—it’s a gift.
Final Thought
These are just a few basics—but they go a long way.
In a world full of noise, real communication is a superpower.
Listening really well is a good place to start.
Thanks for reading.
Being Extraordinary with Rich Waterman