Blame
Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash
Blame: The Pain That Solves Nothing
By Rich Waterman – Being Extraordinary
Blame is one of the most destructive behaviours we can fall into.
It doesn’t solve anything. It doesn’t change anything.
It just moves pain around—and creates ripple effects that hurt more than help.
And in today’s world, social media can be a turbocharged amplifier for blame.
Be mindful of who and what you allow into your feed.
Why We Blame
Something goes wrong. Something doesn’t meet our expectations.
Blame is often our first response—it’s normal, in the short term.
We might:
Blame ourselves
Blame others
Or even blame inanimate objects (yes, we’ve all sworn at the printer)
Initially, blame gives us distance from the pain.
But staying in blame keeps us stuck.
The Problem with Blame
It doesn’t resolve the situation—it just passes the pain:
Blame yourself? You suffer.
Blame someone else? They suffer… if they accept it. If not, you suffer more.
Blame a thing? It can’t respond—so guess what? You still carry the pain.
Worse still, blame is a sneaky way of abdicating responsibility.
You hand your power over.
You give up control.
How does it really feel to not be in charge of your own life?
A Better Alternative: Take Ownership
Forget blame. You’ve got two choices:
1. Change what’s happening.
2. Change what it means.
Change the Circumstances
Ask:
What needs to change here?
Why does this need to change?
What’s the first step I can take?
Break it down. Take action.
Remember Einstein’s definition of insanity:
“Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Stop repeating. Start shifting.
Change the Meaning
If the situation can’t change, change your interpretation of it.
Ask:
What rule am I holding onto that’s creating pain?
Can I rewrite that rule?
What’s the gift or lesson here?
Will this matter in six months?
Meaning is always within your control.
Change your perspective and you reclaim your power.
Final Word
Blame feels justified.
But it won’t get you where you want to go.
So when would now be a good time to stop playing the blame game?
Thanks for reading.
Being Extraordinary with Rich Waterman
